Heart of Jesus, I trust in You

Isn't God amazing?

I was feeling so discouraged today after school - tired and sad and feeling like I had made all of the wrong choices and let my pride get in the way of following God's will for me. It's been kind of a common theme lately. I'm doing my best (most of the time...) to put on a cheerful face and live a faith-filled life now - since now is where I can meet God. But it's still hard sometimes when I feel like I should be somewhere else.

Anyway, I finally got myself out of the house and to the grocery store, with plans to make some baked goods for the lab I spent my summer research block in. As I was driving to the store, I felt such a deep longing for Christ - such a deep longing to sit with Him in the Blessed Sacrament. And I thought what I've heard so many times - that our deep longings for God are reflections of His deep, deep longings for us. To think that the longing I feel is one-millionth of what Christ feels for the entire human race! So much so that He suffered and died on the Cross, all so that we might know the great love and mercy of the Father.

And as I was walking through the aisles, picking up my eggs and my flour and my confectioner's sugar, I all of a sudden started thinking about the Sacred Heart of Jesus - crowned with thorns, engulfed in flames, burning for all eternity with love for us - for me and for you. What a striking and beautiful image - terrifying in its wonder. And I just had to whisper - Heart of Jesus, I trust in You. I could only remember fragments of the Litany of the Sacred Heart, so I just kept repeating - Heart of Jesus, crowned with thorns, I trust in You. Heart of Jesus, pierced for our iniquities, have mercy on us. Heart of Jesus, Beloved of the Father, I trust in You. It isn't really the Litany, I know, but it was all I could say.

I came back to the car and thanked God for the great gift of the Sacred Heart of Jesus, burning with love for us, yearning to be united with each and every human soul. Yearning to bring each and every one of us into the fullness of life in the Trinity!

I still lose hope very easily. I still forget that God is always with me - that Jesus always loves me and is always longing for me to be His. But even when I forget, He gives me these tiny little moments, these brushes with an eternal love that I can scarcely fathom...

Please, Lord, do not let me forget in my weakness Your bountiful love and mercy. I am so weak, Jesus - I am trying to be stronger, but I am still so weak. Thank You for showing me my weakness, and how greatly I need You. I know I still have so much further to go along that road of humility - truly, I am scarcely begun.

+Pax Christi
Sophia