Wholly Yours

Oh my Jesus, You are so good to me. You pour out so many blessings upon me. One of the novices says at dinner - "He's a romantic" - and it is so true. All weekend You sent me signs of Your love for me. You have done such great things for me, Lord - such things that I am not worthy of. Truly, You have prepared the way. Only You could work such wonders. Only Your hand could have led me to this moment.

I spent the weekend on retreat with the RSMs in Alma, MI. There is too much to tell about the weekend. So many, many, many graces! And the slowly dawning realization of what the Lord has worked in these past six months. I feel such peace and certainty that this is the vocation He has chosen for me. This is the life He wishes for me - not only now, but for all eternity! I feel so certain, Lord - this is not my will, but Yours. This is not about what good work I can do in the world - this is about eternity with You. This is the plan You have laid out for me from the moment You conceived me in my mother's womb, from the moment You gave me life.

And Sister Catherine Marie says to ask the Lord when He is calling me to enter - because the postulant entrance is usually August 1, but there have been sisters who have entered at other times. It is all up to You, Jesus. I will go when You ask me to go.

Tonight I was supposed to have a phone call with Mother Mary Patricia, the postulant formator, but she was in a meeting with someone and asked me to call her tomorrow evening. And that is the sort of thing that should be sending me into a spiral of anxiety and despair. But I called out to You, Jesus, and You gave me peace and a reminder of Your love for me. You are in charge here, Jesus. You are building the house.

So I will call again tomorrow, and we shall see.